Dangerous Colors

We all protect in different ways.

I learned a new word this week.  Aposematism is the use of warning coloration to inform potential predators that an animal is poisonous, venomous, or otherwise dangerous.  These animals are covered in bright colors and contrasting patterns to make them extremely visible. It seems like this wouldn’t help them avoid being eaten, but the point is that these bright colors are communicating something - they are dangerous and not tasty to eat.

Monarch butterflies are an example of this. Monarchs are easy to spot because their wings are bright orange with black and white spots. When monarchs are young they eat a plant called milkweed that is toxic to most animals. The toxin stays in their tissues, and although it never hurts the monarch, they become poisonous to animals that prey on them.  Who knew!

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

This whole thing came up in a conversation about tattoos and piercings, which might seem strange.  But I’ve often wondered if research has ever been done regarding the correlation between tattoos and trauma. My theory is that the more visible, pronounced, or colorful a tattoo is, the more likely it’s designed to serve as a form of “armor” for its walking canvas.  I’m not suggesting that everyone who has tattoos has PTSD.  But I do wonder about people who have facial tattoos, for instance.  

I heard a story about a man talking with a woman with multiple piercings, a neck tattoo, and bright purple hair.  He asked, “Do you think that makes you attractive?”  Her response was pointed.  “It’s not supposed to be attractive.  It’s supposed to do the opposite.”

Her look is signaling, “Dude, don’t get too close; I’m dangerous.”  Despite conventional thought that she is “attention-seeking,” she’s instead sending a signal that “I am not safe.”  For her, maybe it’s a form of aposematism!  

I’m sure that if we were to dig into her trauma history, we’d likely uncover a host of events that have led her to this behavior, we’d also find that she’s not as toxic as she thinks if she could just be vulnerable with safe people.

Reluctantly, I practiced vulnerability this week when I posted on FaceBook about something I needed help with.  It worked out; my community showed up in unexpected and overwhelming ways, and like Brene Brown theorizes, authentic connections were made and strengthened.  But it’s hard to be open. It’s hard to ask for help.  It’s easier, sometimes, to defend and protect.

Sometimes we defend with anger.  Anger is usually a secondary emotion, with a primary purpose of expressing and protecting.  Underneath our rage, outbursts, and sarcasm is often a vulnerable feeling of hurt, embarrassment, sadness, or shame.  I wonder what would happen if we were able to just express the thing we are feeling rather than hiding behind a shield.

Some of us protect ourselves by using inappropriate coping mechanisms, like food, or sex, or shopping.  Some of us do it by working ourselves into exhaustion or by giving and giving to others without boundaries to the point of sheer emptiness.

Whatever your tool is, I would urge you to evaluate your toolbox and see what else you might use to get through the week in a healthier way.

This content is for educational and entertainment purposes and is not the same as therapy. If you need to talk to someone, go to BetterHelp.com or PsychologyToday.com and start treatment with a professional today!

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