I have always loved magic. Ever since I got my first magic kit as a kid, I’ve been a fan of making people believe that I could do the impossible. I’ve often said that if I had a magic wand, I’d be the best counselor in America because I could make things all better with a simple Abracadabra.
That said, I’ve never been much for superstitions. But many people do believe - or at least believe enough that they have rituals and routines they follow, hoping for a win. While leading the Chicago Bulls to six NBA championships during his legendary career, the five-time MVP wore his University of North Carolina shorts under his uniform in every game. Jordan led UNC to the NCAA Championships in 1982 and believed the mesh marvels brought him luck. To cover his lucky pair, Jordan began wearing longer shorts, which inspired the trend in the NBA.
As we continue our series on cognitive distortions, I thought today we’d look at Magical Thinking. Magical Thinking is the belief that acts will influence unrelated situations. It can also provide a false sense of control.
There are several cognitive distortions that people become trapped by that are usually used to reinforce negative thoughts and emotions. These thought patterns keep us stuck and lead us to have lower self-esteem and be overall more dissatisfied with our lives.
You might be saying, “this is actually one that I don’t struggle with!”
But what about this? A woman tells her friend, “When I lose a few pounds, I’ll feel pretty, and I know I’ll meet my next boyfriend.” In other words, my new body will bring me the happiness and life I am waiting for. This is an example of magical thinking.
She begins dieting and eliminating certain foods from her daily routine and begins to lose a few pounds. However, after a few weeks, she hasn’t met anyone she wants to date. She is confused as she is socializing a lot, flaunting her new body, yet she still doesn’t have a boyfriend.
So, she decides to lose even more weight and begins excessively exercising. Soon after, the woman becomes increasingly rigid with her diet and exercise routine, believing that this regimen will bring her a romantic relationship. Because she’s vigilant about not ruining her diet, she begins to avoid social gatherings. As a result, she loses a lot of weight. She feels anxious when she is around food and has less energy than she used to have. Depression and feelings of defeat set in since she has not yet met the man of her dreams.
While you may be thinking this is an extreme example, this is a real-life scenario from an eating disorder clinic patient.
While all magical thinking does not lead to an eating disorder, it can certainly lead a person down a rabbit hole of thoughts and behaviors that make someone feel less worthy and less content with their lives.
So, how do we stop these thoughts from having a negative impact? Here are some strategies that might help.
First, name it. Now that you know what magical thinking is, you can begin to notice when you are engaging in it. This will make you more aware and give you more opportunities to challenge it.
Secondly, say it out loud. Sometimes we need to hear our thoughts aloud to realize how ridiculous/false they really are. For example, “An arbitrary number on a small machine will find me love?!”
Next, become a detective. Look for evidence for and against the thought to remove its credibility and power. For example, the more I focus on my appearance, the unhappier I become because I am more irritable and less able to socialize. After all, a number on a scale won’t fix your life.
Replace that thought. If you’ve found enough evidence against the idea to prove it is faulty, find a neutral or positive thought to replace it with. Something like, “I am okay just the way I am; the best partner is one who values me for me.” Or “I am going to focus on healthy habits like sleep, mindfulness, moderate exercise, spending time with friends/family because it makes me feel better, not because it makes me more attractive.”
Finally, repeat yourself. Start to refute the thought with the evidence and new thought you created over and over again. Repetition leads to familiarity and will help convince you that this thought is inaccurate.
By the way, sometimes magical thinking can be comforting and harmless to our mental health. For instance, when we are grieving and see something that reminds us of those we’ve lost, this often leads us to think they are with us at that moment. That’s a comforting thought that probably doesn't need to be challenged. (And who’s to say that this kind of magic isn’t real anyway?)
Enjoy the holiday weekend, and I wish you peace (and restraint if you’re hosting your own display) when it comes to fireworks. For those of you who suffer from firework fatigue like me - or even more seriously, trauma responses to the continued noise - please take care of yourselves.
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This content is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not the same as therapy. If you need to talk to someone, go to BetterHelp.com or PsychologyToday.com and start therapy with a professional today!
